The Ups and Downs of Introductions

Hello!  Hope you are all well.  We are currently midway through the introductions process and I had hoped to write a post each day but there has been a lack of internet access which has made it quite difficult so I'll have to do a quick update about the last few days.

Before I start to talk about what we have been up to this week, I must first tell you about the amazing adoption shower that my family and friends organised for me over the weekend.  It was such a beautiful event and I was really touched by the love that I was shown, and the wonderful presents received!  The most touching part of the whole evening was an idea one of my friends had come up with.  Each lady was given a piece of material and fabric pens.  They were given an opportunity to write a message to DH, me and/or Babygirl.  I was so moved by the messages and look forward to when the pieces are stitched together to make a blanket.  Such a beautiful idea!!! OK - so I've finishing gushing!  It was a beautiful evening and it left me feeling very reflective.  After everyone had gone, I found myself reflecting on the night and the next step ahead.  The adoption shower became extremely symbolic for me and gave me the sense of being sent off into the land of motherhood.

So I was extremely excited on Monday when I woke up ready to face the first day of introductions.  It started with a 2 hour meeting with our SW, Babygirl's SW and the FC in which the terms of placement were agreed and the introductions plan outlined.  It was clear that it was going to be an exciting but also tiring week.  There will be a lot of travelling on our part as well as some overnight stays in a hotel.  Once the meeting had been concluded, DH, myself and the FC set off for FC's home where Babygirl would be waiting.  The drive took about 1 and a half hours and we arrived as Babygirl woke up from her afternoon nap.  She was brought down and for the first time we set eyes on our baby in the flesh - it was a special moment.  She was handed to me immediately and she inspected me closely - you could almost hear her thinking, "Who are you?"  She settled into DH's arms for a short milk feed but did cry everytime she heard FC's voice.  We stayed for about an hour and then headed off to check in at the hotel.  That night, our SW called to see how it went.  We told her that it had all gone smoothly.  I wasn't sure how I was supposed to feel - she didn't feel like she was my child but I knew that it was early days.

Day 2 - we arrived late morning in time to take Babygirl out of her cot after her nap.  We played in her room and the FC was really supportive by making sure that she was absent so that Babygirl depended on us for her needs.  We also had the joy of taking Babygirl to the clinic to be weighed - it was lovely to amongst other parents and fitting in!

Day 3 - we arrived earlier this day and took Babygirl out for lunch.  On this day, we got our first smile and a couple of giggles from Babygirl.  We got to try out our pushchair and I thoroughly enjoyed browsing the shops with my new family! :-) 

Day 4 (today) - we drove back home with the FC and Babygirl following to join us for lunch.  Today was not such a good day - Babygirl was obviously confused and overwhelmed by the presence of the FC and her new parents.  All she wanted was to be in the arms of her FC.  It was tough for us all - Babygirl wanted FC and was not happy unless she was in her arms,  the FC was distressed because she felt that she should leave Babygirl with us to encourage attachment to us, and we were distressed because Babygirl who had loved being with us for the last few days was now screaming continually everytime we held her.  It has left us a little sad today but we know that tomorrow is another day.  Today we were reminded that as happy as we are to start building our family with Babygirl, it is a devastating time for her as she is being taken from all she knows.

Pray for all of us - DH and I, Babygirl and the FC.

Until next time,
Cece
xxx

Blue Monday?

Today is 21 January which according to British psychologists is the most depressing day of the year.  They say that it is a combination of being paid early for Christmas (so funds are now low), credit card bills from the Christmas season have started to arrive and it is the third week back to work after the Christmas/New Year festivities!  The fact that is has been snowing over the last few days has made it a mixed bag this year.  Some people have been at home enjoying a "snow day" while others have had to trudge through the cold fluffy white stuff to face cancelled and delayed trains!

While the rest of the country have been walking around in varying degrees of gloominess, I have been bouncing around on my own personal dose of happiness!

Last week, DH and I went to matching panel.  This is when we ask the panel to approve us to be the adoptive parents to LO.  We arrived early - clutching our introductions book.  The introductions book is a book that is collated by the potential adoptive parents which will introduce the child to their new home and family if the panel agree that the adopters are a suitable match.  It usually includes pictures of the parents and different parts of the house including the child's room.  So in preparation for panel, we had to make sure that her room was prepared.

 

It has been really lovely setting it up - DH and I had a wonderful time getting it ready and it gave us something to focus on as we waited for the panel date to finally arrive!

We were called up to panel and settled into our seats.  It was a really fast process - we were out of the room in about 5 minutes and even the SW mentioned that it was the shortest panel she had ever attended!  Three minutes later, they came out to tell us that it was a YES!  The rest of the speech was a blur to be honest - but the main point is that DH and I are going to be parents!!!!!!

Today was my first day on adoption leave!  We will meet "Babygirl" next Monday and we should be able to bring her home the following Monday.  Now, DH and I are busy making the final touches to our home - stair gates will have to go up, cot sheets washed, car seats fitted etc.

We are overjoyed and so grateful to God.  He has taken us through what has been a gruelling process at times.  Please keep us in your prayers as we prepare to enter this new season in our lives!

On a separate note, I have also started a new blog and it would be great if you could have a look at it.  I'll be posting on that blog more throughout this year and it will be covering a wide range of issues.

This blog has been really helpful in helping me to work through what has been a really tough journey.  I am aware that my journey is continuing as I know that there are more children to come, and I still have the challenges of motherhood to encounter!  I will still be writing here and the next few posts will have a particular focus on the final stages of adoption so you are welcome to keep reading here!

This blog has also reignited my passion for writing so my new blog is a forum to allow me to write about other things - take a look!

Untill next time,
Cece

2013 is here!

Happy New Year!  May this year bring new and wonderful things to you all, but more importantly may it be a year that brings you even closer to Jesus!

As expected, I am REALLY excited about 2013!  Of course, the fast approaching placement of our little one is on my mind, but I am also aware that spending time away from work will be an interesting season in my life.  I am so excited about what God has in store for me in this year and I feel confident that He will be speaking to me throughout the year.  In fact, I know that He is always speaking to me but I am determined to make sure that I am listening this year!

The final preparations are now in full swing and each day, I become more and more aware that this is really happening! We have a long list of things to do and meetings to attend between now and the last week of January when we finally start introductions.

Many people have asked if we have met our little one and the answer is no - we will not get to meet until after panel during the introductions process.  Some people have asked what will happen if we don't like the child or are not comfortable with them - we know this can happen.  There have been cases where the adoption has broken down at the introductions stage and beyond.  This has been devastating for all parties involved, however, DH and I are aiming to approach this process with a particular mindest.  We know that it could all fall apart, as anything is possible, however, if we were physically pregnant, we would not be debating whether or not we would be keeping the child if their personality didn't match with ours!  In fact, if such a conversation was overheard, people would be horrified!  Why should our behaviour be any different with an adopted child?  Yes, we know that an adopted child may come with some additional issues but some of these issues could also develop in children we gave birth to naturally.  We seek to be as committed to this child as a couple giving birth to their natural child would be.

This week, we drove out of London to meet our little one's foster carer. As we sat in a coffee house waiting for this lady who we didn't know to arrive, we discussed what we wanted to know about our little one.  It's a strange concept that we were preparing a list of things we wanted to know about our child.  As the meeting time approached, I started to feel increasingly nervous about meeting the foster carer - would she like me?  What if she doesn't think we're good enough?  As we waited, the importance of our relationship with the foster carer became more apparent to me.  Introductions would be starting in her house.  We would be following the routine she had established for this child and at the moment, as far as our little one is concerned, this person is "mummy"!

The adoption process does cause you to be in some remarkable situations.  "I'm waiting to meet someone who is going to tell me what my child is like because I have no idea about their personality, likes or dislikes!"  What an odd statement!  When she arrived, we sat and talked for about half an hour.  We heard about our little one's routine, their preferences, how they communicate etc.  It was lovely to hear from someone who actually knows them - it made the report that we had read and the picture we had seen come to life!

As we headed back to London, the reality hit home!  The room has already been prepared and key purchases have already been made.  Yet, in spite of all of the baby related items that now fill our home, it wasn't until we sat down and talked about our little one that it finally started to sink in that I am going to be a mummy!

Next week, we will be meeting the doctor to discuss the medical background of our child and then the following week, we will be attending matching panel when it will all hopefully be finalised!


In the summer, I posted a blog about jumping hurdles and it's amazing that we are almost at the last hurdle!  God has been so faithful and I am confident that He has brought us this far and will continue to be with us as we keep running!

Have a blessed 2013!
Cece
xxx