Being Assessed

So as a teacher, I am used to assessing my students on a regular basis.  I'm even used to being assessed myself through regular lesson observations, but this week I had a new experience - being assessed as a potential parent.

This week we had our first meeting with the social worker who will be assessing us for adoption.  It's such a strange feeling - you want to prove that you can be a good parent but you're not sure if you're hitting all the right points.  You worry that what you say will be misinterpreted and that as a result they will decide that you're not suitable.  The social worker does seem lovely and we have plenty of homework to work on until the next meeting.

In the meantime, I have been left with a weird combinations of feelings - excitement, relief and sheer panic!

Excitement: we are finally moving ahead towards parenthood!  The hope of being able to raise a child is coming closer - the possibility of completing our family is just on the horizon!

Relief: there is something about finally making a decision.  The decision to pursue adoption wholeheartedly has brought about an immense sense of peace and relief.  I feel like I finally know where I'm going and that I can now start to make plans for the future!

Panic:  This is a panic mixed with joy!  I now know that I have to put some solid plans together to prepare for the role of mummy.  Things need to be done NOW!  I can feel my planning mode kicking in!  In fact, once I finish this post I'm going to sit down and start working on it.

So that's where I am at the moment - motivated, focussed and delightfully happy!  I have HOPE! :-)

Until next time,
Cece
xx

PS:  I am thinking of changing the title of this blog - I am still on a journey but it doesn't feel like a battle so much now.  Let me know what you think!

Simplicity

This weekend I met up with a new friend - she was introduced to me by someone who reads this blog.  It was lovely to share and get to know each other better, and I really felt so refreshed after spending time with her!  It was during our conversation that I started to ponder on the power of simplicity.  We were talking about the challenges that we can face in life and how to handle them.  I made a passing comment about the importance of just "being" and she really focussed on that statement.  She also made a statement about remembering the word that God has given to me.  These two statements remained with me for several days, and as I pondered on these thoughts - the word "simplicity" became more prominent in my mind.

The SIMPLICITY of ministry was the first thing that I realised.  We had spent a few hours talking but had managed to minister to each other.  As I said on my facebook status later that day:  "Ministry is simpler than we think - love God, love others."

The SIMPLICITY of "being me" was the next point - this has been my phrase for a few years now but I'm still learning what it actually means.  Each day I am learning that God can use me more effectively when I concentrate on being who I am.  I am seeing that there is no part of me that is mistake as far as His creation goes.  He made me and can use me as I am!  What a revelation!

The SIMPLICITY of standing on God's word.  This can be difficult and yet is such a simple and powerful priniciple.  I know what God has told me and I know what I should be doing right now.  When I remember this, the next steps seem so much clearer but the difficulty is remembering to keep it simple and stand on His word.

The SIMPLICITY of walking with God - love Him, follow Him, serve Him.

In life, we can become so caught up with the busyness of life.  We can continually set new goals to achieve and new projects to work on but in the midst of the activity - we can lose simplicity. 

Infertility has definitely managed to strangle simplicity out of my life for the last few years.  I have spent hours trying to work out the best route to go and attempting to make an action plan for every possible outcome.  It has been exhausting and so complicated!

When we lose simplicity, we can lose focus on what is truly important and clutter our lives with the "unimportant".  As I consider the path of simplicity - I can see that it requires more faith, less activity but brings so much more peace.

I think it may be time to stop running and striving, and time to relax and truly place my trust in God.

Keep it simple!