Being Assessed

So as a teacher, I am used to assessing my students on a regular basis.  I'm even used to being assessed myself through regular lesson observations, but this week I had a new experience - being assessed as a potential parent.

This week we had our first meeting with the social worker who will be assessing us for adoption.  It's such a strange feeling - you want to prove that you can be a good parent but you're not sure if you're hitting all the right points.  You worry that what you say will be misinterpreted and that as a result they will decide that you're not suitable.  The social worker does seem lovely and we have plenty of homework to work on until the next meeting.

In the meantime, I have been left with a weird combinations of feelings - excitement, relief and sheer panic!

Excitement: we are finally moving ahead towards parenthood!  The hope of being able to raise a child is coming closer - the possibility of completing our family is just on the horizon!

Relief: there is something about finally making a decision.  The decision to pursue adoption wholeheartedly has brought about an immense sense of peace and relief.  I feel like I finally know where I'm going and that I can now start to make plans for the future!

Panic:  This is a panic mixed with joy!  I now know that I have to put some solid plans together to prepare for the role of mummy.  Things need to be done NOW!  I can feel my planning mode kicking in!  In fact, once I finish this post I'm going to sit down and start working on it.

So that's where I am at the moment - motivated, focussed and delightfully happy!  I have HOPE! :-)

Until next time,
Cece
xx

PS:  I am thinking of changing the title of this blog - I am still on a journey but it doesn't feel like a battle so much now.  Let me know what you think!