I'm aware that it has been quite a while since I've written a post. I have been busy trying to ensure that I didn't have lots of school work to do over the summer. My summer holidays began last week and to be honest I've been absolutely shattered!
I haven't written because I haven't had much to say. We are still undergoing assessment for adoption and it seems to be going well. Many people have said that they found the adoption process intrusive but I haven't found it to be so. DH has a different opinion but most of what has taken place has not really bothered me. I still sometimes find myself answering questions which I am sure a woman who had naturally fallen pregnant would not have to answer, but I guess that is just the nature of the situation we are in.
We have a date for panel in October and our SW is starting to mention a few potential children who are currently in the system.
Whenever a child is mentioned the balancing act begins:
1. How do you balance the guilt of turning down a child with the knowledge that you may not be able to cater for their needs when you know that this decision would leave a child in care for longer?
2. How do you balance the excitement of a potential child with the knowledge that it won't be confirmed until you get to matching panel?
The process seems to be going really well and I can't help feeling excited but there is still a little part of me that wants to hold back. Disappointment is not an easy emotion to handle especially when you've allowed yourself to really indulge in the dream!
We have a few more meetings with the SW and then she will start to write the report for the panel.
Please pray that the final stages of the process go smoothly and we are matched with child that God has planned for us!
Until next time!
Cece x
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