Tying up Loose Ends: Meeting the birth mum

I wanted to wait a while before sharing this particular aspect of my story and as this week we celebrated two years of Babygirl living with us, it felt like the right time to share.

A common question I am asked is if we know anything about Babygirl's background.  Before we adopted Babygirl we received a detailed report telling us about her background and the reason for her being put up for adoption.

We also had the opportunity to meet with Babygirl's birth mum.  I remember the day clearly - Babygirl had been living with us for a few months and it was a warm summer day.  We sat in a room with our supervising social worker and Babygirl's social worker.  Babygirl was not present.  Babygirl's birth mum arrived alone and what took place was a meeting which allowed her to meet the people who would have the responsibility of raising her child.

It was a short meeting, we shared Babygirl's progress and she shared a bit about the pregnancy.  I remember exactly how I felt - I felt great sadness.  Babygirl's birth mum was alone and facing what was probably the most difficult meeting of her life but she did it!  I could sense her sadness but the meeting also felt like a handing over of Babygirl.

When the meeting ended, I felt like a silent agreement had been made - that she had now officially handed Babygirl over into our care.

We took photos and look forward to sharing them with Babygirl when she is old enough to understand.  While I remember feeling terrified about attending the meeting, I remember feeling very strongly that I had to do it for Babygirl.

We will now be writing a letter to Babygirl's birth mum annually - it is not going to be easy but I know that this is all part of helping our daughter to understand who she is and where she came from.

Until next time,
Cece