Sunday 6 February 2011

Getting back on board

Well I started to write this blog and then stopped.  In some ways it was too painful to write what I've been feeling but I know that God can use my experiences to help others so here we go again!  Let me start with some background information.
I have been married to my wonderful husband since 2007 and in April 2008 we decided it was time to start trying for a baby.  Initially not much happened and it wasn't until we had been trying for a whole year that I really started to worry - this April will make it 3 years of trying with no success and it has increasingly been difficult.  I have watched my two best friends give birth to their wonderful boys and shed tears of both joy and sorrow.  I have been prodded and probed by doctors, and questioned by well-meaning family and friends.  In October 2010, I was told that I would not be able to conceive naturally due to suffering from endometriosis since the age of 18.  I can hear some of you saying that I should have seen it coming - but I guess I was hoping that it wouldn't be a problem!  The news crushed me and I cried out to God, "WHY?!"  I still ask Him that question sometimes when it gets hard and although He may not have answered me yet, I rest assured that He is still in control.  Now I face the challenge of considering IVF and all of the issues surrounding that journey.  In a later blog, I'll explain the struggle I have over this decision, but for now I'm focussing on losing weight in case we decide to go ahead with it.  I'm doing well too - lost half a stone in the last month!
Well that's all from me today - in the next blog, I'll explore the challenges of maintaining faith and making decisions which some interpret as a lack of faith.

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