Taking a Break

Over the last week, God has been talking to me about how I handle this journey.  I feel so refreshed having embraced the journey and expecting God to work through me and work it out.  But it has been impressed on my heart and confirmed by a friend that I need to be careful about how I define myself in the midst of this journey.

I am not an infertile woman - I am a woman battling infertility.  This may seem to be a simple play on words but the meaning behind them is so significant.  One phrase leaves me sentenced to the outcome of whatever "infertility" decides to hand out.  The other separates my identity from infertility.  Infertility will always have played a major role in helping me to become who I am but it is not a definition of who I am.  I know that some of you reading this may not understand, and that's OK.  You may feel that I am being ridiculous by "denying" that I have been diagnosed with infertility.  I am fully aware of what the doctor's report says, and I am not attempting to deny it.  However I am also fully aware of the God that I serve.  He is able and nothing is impossible with Him.  When He sees me, He does not see an infertile woman but a woman who is fruitful.  How do I know this?  Because I haven't heard any such report from God.  The day God tells me that it is not part of  His plan for me to fall pregnant and have children, is the day that I will stop expecting it to happen.  In the meantime I must ensure that my stance is one of expectation.

I am going to taking a break from writing my blog for a little while.  I will be returning and completing my journey but for the next couple of months, my focus will be on losing weight and getting ready for the upcoming IVF cycle.  I have thought about it carefully and discussed it with DH and I will be blogging during the cycle.  I believe that it will be a helpful process for those who want to understand what it's like.

In the next two months, I just want to focus on getting ready physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually for what may lie ahead.  I want to ensure that DH and I are well prepared for the challenge as I know that many have said that the whole process can be very taxing on relationships.  So I ask that all of you out there who have been reading my blog continue to pray for us as we prepare for the next step.  Even though I may not be online I will still be praying for the people out there trying to conceive.

So you are unlikely to hear from me again until towards the end of June, unless of course, God decides to bless us with a pregnancy before that!

Stay blessed and keep believing, because He is able!
Cece
xxx