How I Kissed Teaching Goodbye

So how did I actually leave teaching?   It was all a bit of a whirlwind really and not how I expected it to be.

When I started my adoption leave, I passionately asked God to take me out of teaching.  I just couldn't see how I would juggle motherhood and my teaching career and do both well!

I packed up my belongings from my workplace with the hope that I would not return but the expectation that my return would be inevitable.  As the year progressed, I continued to look out for a sign from God that I would not be going back but it didn't happen.  So, as my adoption leave came to an end, I arranged a meeting with my headteacher to request a return on 3 days a week.  I wasn't sure how the school would respond but just knew that I could not return full-time.

A few days before my planned meeting, I sat down with DH and to discuss the various options I could consider regarding my return to work.  During this conversation, he made the passing comment, "But you're leaving at Christmas anyway".  I looked at DH rather confused -  DH has the wonderful ability to have a conversation with me and come to conclusions that I have no recollection of us coming to!  In his mind, I was leaving at Christmas but I had no such plans - just merely dreams!

I went to the meeting and found the whole experience rather intense.  Perhaps it was the result of spending nine months at home with Babygirl moving at our own pace, and singing nursery rhymes, but I left the meeting overwhelmingly aware that returning to work as a teacher with Babygirl was going to be a bigger challenge than I anticipated!  I remember sitting in my car after the meeting and realising that my only choice would be to quit my job!

I went home to discuss with DH and realised two things:
1.  If I wanted to hand in my notice to leave teaching, I would have to do so within the next seven days
2.  I was scared!!!!

I would have to hand in my notice without having another job in place!  After a long discussion with DH, I drafted my resignation and sent it.  It was terrifying and liberating at the same time.  I can only imagine how the school felt - they were still in the process of deliberating about my request for part time work and now they were faced with my resignation.

I must say that the school was very gracious - they accepted my resignation, allowed me to change my return date so I could avoid repaying my adoption pay and gave me a return of 4 days a week to work out my notice.  In addition to this, they did not give me any classes to teach during that time - this was primarily to avoid disruption for the classes but meant that I had 13 weeks to tackle all of the admin work required for a head of department role without the expectation of having a teaching timetable.  I ran support sessions for the sixth formers but in essence got to write my own timetable.  Wow!  It was so obviously God in action!

So God had come through on that front but there was still the little issue of getting a new job!  I remember hosting a ladies' brunch during this time and teaching them about when Peter walked on water.  We talked about his boldness to get out of the boat, the amazing experience he had as a result of him trusting Jesus and then the fear he experienced when he lost his focus.  It was comical to me because at that very point, the ladies were not aware of my situation and I felt like I was Peter, floundering in the water and desparately trying not to drown!

But God is truly a gracious God!  I got a job 17 days after I resigned - how amazing is that?!  When I look through my journal, I see that it was 17 days of hanging on for dear life to God and there were plenty of sleepless nights, but I thank God that He never gives us more than we can bear!

In my next post, I'll tell you a little more about my job.  I wanted to take some time to settle into the role but I will let you know how it's going!

I'm also hoping to share with you a series of posts of my "January Delights" so look out for those too!  Subscribe so you know when my new posts are out and feel free to comment!

Until next time,
Cece
xxx

Why I Kissed Teaching Goodbye

One of the most common questions I have been asked since announcing my departure from the classroom has been "Why?".  So I thought I should dedicate this post to answering this common query.

I never intended to become a teacher.  In fact, with two other teachers already in my immediate family, I was desparate to do something different.  However, due to a range of various circumstances, I found myself on a teacher training course and loving it!  I told myself that I would only stay in the profession for 5 years and then move on, but as I progressed from student teacher to NQT (newly qualified teacher) I found myself loving the profession even more.

I'll be honest!  I tried to leave the profession a few times but for the first 7 years of my career - I loved it!  It was hard work but I loved working with young people.  However, very early in my career, I became aware that in some ways it would appear that I had drawn the "short straw".  Whilst my friends were embarking on their new careers and enjoying the delights of having enough money to socialise (after student poverty!), I was turning down invites to stay at home and mark books.  I cannot express fully the sense of dread I would get as I headed home to mark 64 books (2 class sets) in one night.  But ultimately, I had a real sense of purpose and I wanted to make a difference.  I loved seeing a young person finally get to grips with a new concept and enjoyed being able to encourage them to believe that could do anything they put their mind to!

However, as time progressed, I began to get tired.  Teaching is an extremely stressful job and really drains you emotionally, physically and mentally, leaving very little room for anything else in your life.  A common misconception is that teachers waltz into the classroom at 8.30am and back out at 3.30pm, as well as, "lolling" about during the long holidays.  It was a regular occurence to have people ask me why I'm stressed when I have "all of those holidays".  It was a statement that maddened me then and continues to grate on my nerves now.  It shows a complete lack of understanding what life as a teacher is really about.

Most teachers start their working day between 7 and 7.30am.  At my last school, some teachers would arrive at work at 6.30am every day.  A typical morning for me would be setting up my classroom in preparation for the lessons that day - this may involve photocopying, collating worksheets, rearranging the room etc.  A check of my email box would usually provide at least another 5 tasks to add to my to-do list and then it would be time for briefing, where you get a synopsis of key events happening that day and reminders of impending deadlines for reports, grade cards, responses to parent requests etc.  The bell would ring at 8.30 to tell you that it was time to register your form.  From 8.30 you would usually have continuous contact with students throughout the day.  You expect this during your lessons, but people forget that it overflows into your breaks as well.  At break time, a student who missed your lesson may turn up to ask for a copy of the worksheet, whilst another student arrives to tell you that they didn't understand the homework.  By the time, you have arranged a time to meet with the confused student and got a copy of the worksheet, you've lost 10 minutes of your 20 minute break.

Now comes the dilemma:

Do I get a cup of tea or go to the toilet?  

A cup of tea would take the rest of the break but the toilet break would only take 5 minutes, which means you would have time to quickly review your next lessons before you have to teach again.  You opt for the toilet break because you realise that if you don't go now, you won't be able to go until lunchtime as you'll be teaching the whole way through.

Lunchtime is not protected either - it's the time when meetings are booked, additional help is given to students, supervision duties are allocated, and extra curricular activities are run.  I had many days in my teaching career where I would actually forgot to eat because I simply didn't have time!

After school, you may have a department meeting, a meeting with a parent or an after school club for the students.  By 4pm, my brain would be completely frazzled and I would be packing my bag to head home.  However, there are many teachers who stay in school until about 7pm (yes that includes the ones who get in at 7am too!).  Whether we were at home or in school, we all were doing the same thing, marking and planning for the next day.  It was not uncommon for me to get home to complete another 2 to 3 hours of work at home in the evening.

Weekends would be affected too!  My normal Friday afternoon ritual was packing my bag with the work that I would need to complete over the weekend.  Likewise, last days of term, where I would pack the work to be completed over the holidays.

I don't write this to sound bitter or ask for pity but I write it for people to have a more realistic idea of what a teaching career can be like.

Once I got married, I found it difficult to find the balance between the two - my new responsibilites at home and my overwhelming teaching career.  I know that there are many teachers out there who are managing to juggle the two, but for me, it was a real struggle.  I began to resent the work I brought home and I vowed that I would never stay in the classroom and risk becoming a resentful, bitter teacher.  So, by the time, Babygirl came along, I knew that it was time to seriously consider making a change - and I did!

In a nutshell, I loved teaching!  I still do but I left because I was tired and I needed to find something that would allow me to find the balance between home and work for this current season in my life.  Would I ever go back?  Possibly - but I know that right now, I'm in the right place.

The story of how I left teaching is a story in itself so if you're interested, I'll cover that in my next post.  Please write a comment and let me know if you'd be interested in hearing how God took me out of the classroom - it involved some "walking on water" and quite a few sleepless nights!

Until next time,
Cece xxx

Happy New Year!

I had intended to put up a post on New Year's Day, but the day was filled with endometriosis symptoms which resulted in me spending most of the day in bed.  I had an appointment with a consultant on New Year's Eve about my planned treatment during 2014 to tackle some of my symptoms, so I'm hopeful that I will see an improvement this year.  Despite the disappointment of not being able to do much on New Year's Day, it did mean that I had time to finally sit down and consider the goals I want to set for 2014.

My "duvet day" became a day of quiet reflection, prayer and a real opportunity to hear what God is saying about the year ahead.  It was just want I needed - although I would have preferred it without the pain!

I am excited about 2014.  

In 2013, I started to take active steps towards "Living the life I love" as mentioned in a post last year.  2014 is all about seeing it through.  I have lots of plans for this year and I am hopeful that I will achieve all that I have set out to achieve.

However, my greatest goal for this year is to stay connected to God and in tune with what He is doing in my life.  This was something that I found to be invaluable in 2013 and I have no intention of losing that approach in 2014.

I hope that you will continue to journey with me through 2014.

I wanted to take this opportunity to say thank you for your support over the last 3 years.  Please share my blog with anyone that you think would find it helpful.  As I always say, this blog has been a help to me but I endeavour to use it to bless the lives of others too!

You can follow my blog through Bloglovin' or via email to avoid missing any posts and please feel free to comment below - it's lovely to hear your thoughts and opinions!

Until next time,
Cece xxx