The Blessings of Infertility?!

I know many of you must be wondering why I have chosen this particular title for my post today.  Over the last few weeks I have developed a solid understanding of Genesis 50:20, "You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives."
In many ways, I feel like this issue of infertility has been the making of me.  I am so amazed at how God has worked on me through this situation over the last 6 months.  I can honestly say that I have been blessed which is strange as this has been a really tough issue to face.
Through infertility, I have developed a clearer understanding of what faith in God is all about.  Through infertility, I have seen why God led me to marry the man that I have as he has been truly amazing in the midst of this storm.  Through infertility, God has helped us to develop a stronger bond and deeper emotional intimacy in our marriage.  Through infertility, I have learnt that my love for God is real and not based on circumstances.  Through infertility, I have touched other people's lives and encouraged them to keep trusting God.  Through infertility, I have learnt boldness to speak the truth about my emotions and feelings and face them head on.  How is it that God has managed to show me so much through this one issue?  God is so good - He has taken something which the enemy wanted to use to destroy me and turned it around for His glory!!!  Wow - I thought that I would only be able to say that when God gave me children but I can honestly say that God has already done a great work in me.  Hallelujah!!!!
Through this issue, God has also shown the healing that has been taking place my life.  I have spent most of my life feeling broken, feeling unworthy, wishing that I was someone else and desperately trying to prove my worth to God, myself and others.  But PRAISE GOD, here I stand still struggling with infertility, still longing for a child but for the first time happy with being me.  Wow!  I have waited over 30 years to reach this point and I never dreamt that I would feel like this when facing the one challenge that I had begged God to protect me from facing!!!  The Lord truly does work in mysterious ways! Who would have thought that God would use this to help me reach this point?!
I thank God for my journey so far! I thank Him for the people He has placed in my life to encourage me along my path and I thank God that even in the midst of the darkness He has shown me the light!
Be blessed!
Cece
xxx