Both sides of the story

As I said earlier, there are good days and bad days on this journey and right I feel like I'm having a bad one.  Actually the last few days have been pretty tough.  Easter weekend was lovely as I spent a lot of time with DH, but, as ever, holiday time means you run the risk of meeting up with family and facing tough questions.  So I had a plan this holiday - to avoid these situations!  Especially as there have been some recent pregnancies announced that I have found difficult to handle!  So I avoided a few gatherings so that I would not have to see and speak to certain people - I know I must sound so terrible but I'm just being real.  Funnily enough, it was the one event that I thought wouldn't bother me that had an impact.  It was a child's birthday party and I really wanted to go - in fact as far as I was concerned it was a non-negoitable event (one of those you have to attend!).  I went expecting to have an afternoon of fun and support one of my best friends, and this is exactly what I did but I did not expect to feel suddenly very "childless" in the middle of the proceedings.  I don't know if it was the time when all my friends were on the mats playing with their children and I was standing at the side with DH watching, or whether it was when I was faced with one of the pregnant women I was trying to avoid, but suddenly the event changed for me.  Don't get me wrong!  I enjoyed the event it was really lovely and my friend did so well with what she had organised for her wonderful son but I found that I came home feeling a little sad! 

It affected DH too - the next day we were talking and for the first time I felt like I got a glimpse of what is like from a man's perspective.  DH just shared a little about how he felt at the party - his feelings were very similar to mine.  He just wants the time when he can play with his own child!  The infertility walk is not easy for either side but as a woman, there are many forums for us to express how we feel. Where do the men go?!  Most women will find a place to share and talk through their feelings but for men it's not so easy.  Also it is often the men who have to face the emotional outbursts of the woman when it all becomes too much.  DH was explaining that he is always thinking of how to protect me - he doesn't want me to go into situations that will make my journey through this more challenging.  On that day, I realised how important it is to support our men through this battle.  They may not talk about it much but they are going through it too!  And depending of their perspective of their role in the relationship, they can spend a lot of time not only trying to work through their own pain but also worrying about how to help you through your pain.

Let's pray for the men who are battling with infertility!  It's not easy on their side either!  Let's pray that as women make their way through this challenge that they don't forget that their husbands/partners are also suffering and need support!