Should I be ashamed?

Hello everyone!
Well, I am still in a good place and feeling pretty good.  I feel like I am starting to experience the peace of God that is necessary to make it through this.  I know that I will still have bad days but now I realise that it's not a bad thing to express my feelings.  I have an ability to switch off my emotions and avoid dealing with them (not a good thing!!).  This situation has shown how healing it can be to let it all out.  I genuinely believe that I feel better because I've just allowed myself to be honest about what I feel.

Anyway, I wrote this blog because I wanted to tackle the issue of "shame".  Should a woman battling infertility feel ashamed and keep it a secret?  I ask this question because I know that many people have been shocked by how open I have been about this issue.  Through a range of conversations, I have discovered that I have been around a number of women who have struggled with the same battle but I didn't know.  Now I am not suggesting that they should have broadcasted their personal business to everyone but I do wonder how much of their silence was due to feeling ashamed.

Infertility is a issue that can bring so much shame.  This can prevent people sharing what they are going through.  However, I am aware that what has helped me so much in this situation is the sharing that I have been doing through this blog and chats with others.  This issue is serious - there are many women who have walked away from God and the Church because as they suffered in silence, bitterness and distress was able to take hold.  So how do we help women going through this?  I believe that it can start with me!  I hope that by speaking out, others will follow my example and open the doors for support and prayer.  The motivation for my blog was due to an amazing lady on Youtube called "Nikki Proverbs31".  She posted a series of videos documenting her journey through infertility, IVF and her resulting pregnancy.  I discovered her a few days after I was told that I was infertile and I can honestly say that the main reason why I did not completely collapse under the pressure of this diagnosis was due to her videos.  She showed me that it was possible to survive this diagnosis, fight through the pain and still minister to others at the same time.  An amazing woman who has truly inspired me!  Thanks Nikki!

So why do I mention Nikki?  Because she was not ashamed.  She boldly posted her videos to the public domain and let the whole world see her battles.  And why should we be ashamed?!  Infertility is an illness!!  Would I be ashamed if it was my liver that was failing to function properly?  NO!  So why should my reproductive organs be any different?  I want this to change!  It is the enemy's desire that we suffer in silence because in the darkness he can stomp through your life and crush you!  BUT when we speak and share, when we bring our challenges into the light, we open ourselves for support and prayer!  We destroy the chains that the enemy seeks to hold us in and we start to take the steps to freedom.

I write this to any woman that is struggling alone, speak out!  Share it with someone who will understand and if you want to - contact me!  I will make myself available to help!

Well, on Saturday I will be hosting a ladies brunch entitled, "Waiting to Exhale: Singleness, Infertility and other challenges".  The brunch will be a forum for ladies who want to talk.  I am nervous but excited.  I know that God is going to do great things and I'm expecting ladies to get encouragement and experience God's healing.  I'll let you know how it goes.  Keep praying for me and the ladies who will be attending.

Signing out and sending God's love to all of you!
Cece
xxx