An update ..... finally!



Hey guys!
I know it has been a long time and I always seem to be starting my posts by apologising for my absence!  The month of May has begun which means that Babygirl has been living with us for 3 months.  DH, Babygirl and I have settled into life as a family of three.  It has been lovely and hectic all at the same time!

A quick recap of April:

Week 1 - we had Babygirl's baby dedication (equivalent of a christening in our church).  It was lovely to present our daughter to God, give thanks for an amazing blessing and introduce the newest member of our family to the extended family.

Week 2 - I met up with one of the people who influenced me significantly during my teenage years and helped in the earliest stages of my Christian walk.  I spent no more than one hour with her and she sent me onto an amazing journey of discovery with God which I am still travelling!  Meanwhile, she has headed back to New Zealand to carry on her work for God!

Week 3 - I had lots of brunches this week, went to a Spring party for adopted children with Babygirl and Babygirl also attended a birthday party.  She is already establishing herself as a social butterfly!

Week 4 - this is my busiest week.  I had a funeral, a brunch, two lunch dates and a road trip to St Albans.  Not surprising that I was shattered at the end of it!  Babygirl had a fantastic time!

The past few weeks have been much slower giving Babygirl and I time to recover.  In the meantime, I have had time to reflect on life and the road ahead.  This is the first time I have ever had such an extended time away from work and it has been really good for me.  It is the first time that I have been able to step off the treadmill of life and REALLY think about some of the bigger questions!  God has been speaking to me so much during this time.  I'm beginning to really understand the scripture, "Be still and know that I am God".

I'm going to go now but there is so much more that I have to say.  I will try to blog again soon, but in the meantime, I want to encourage each of you to take time to be still and see what God says.  I am learning that often God is speaking, it's just that our lives are too noisy to hear what He's saying!

Until next time,
Cece xx

Inspirational Women

Hello everyone!

I hope you are all doing well!  Babygirl hasn't been feeling too good these last few days so it has been a week of sleepless nights and Calpol!  She seems on the mend and will no doubt be back to her chatty nature soon!  We continue to be delighted as we settle into parenthood - God is truly amazing!  I can't believe that I'm actually a mum!

As mentioned in my last post, I have been really thinking about the example I will be to Babygirl as she watches me and learns how to be a woman.  My pondering led me to think about the women that I have met who have been inspirational in one way or another, and I got the idea of featuring some of these women in a series of "Inspirational Women" posts.

These will be women who are living the life they love or working towards it.  I am hoping to interview them and give each one a feature post.  If you know anyone that would be interested in being interviewed by me, please email me.  I can interview overseas via Skype so location does not matter.

Let's aim to inspire each other!  Whether we like it or not, people are watching us and gleaning ideas on how to do life.  The best way to be inspiring is to be the person God called you to be!  So go for it!

Until next time, stay blessed and be inspired!
Cece x

Live the life you love!

Babygirl has been living with us for 7 weeks now and it feels like life has always been like this.  It has been tiring and fabulous all at the same time and I feel like I've found "home".  I feel really settled in my new role as a mum and I'm doing my best to savour every moment of it!

The pace of life is still hectic and yet feels so much more purposeful.  Babygirl is doing well and progressing quickly.  She has a wonderful personality and is always willing to let you know exactly what she thinks!  She's a no-nonsense kind of girl.  Our house has settled into a steady routine and DH and I are enjoying our new way of life.

Interestingly, DH and I seem to be spending more time together than we did before Babygirl came.  The evenings after she's gone to bed have become time for us to chat and spend quality time together.  With DH's studies, there are evenings when he needs to lock himself away and focus but then I use those evenings to chill, make a few phone calls or get an early night.

My new responsibility of being a mother has made me evaluate my life intensely and I'm still in a major process of self-examination - but one of the key things that has come up is to "Live the life I love".  I am increasingly aware that my actions now act as an example of how to do life for Babygirl.  One of things that I want Babygirl to encourage to do is to go for her dreams.  I want her to focus on discovering her passion and pursuing it wholeheartedly without reservation.  This way of life is something that has been on my mind for a few years now and I touched on it in one of my previous posts, but the arrival of Babygirl has made it seem more relevant and more urgent!

So I have decided to "live the life I love".  Now I know it is going to take time to get to the final picture that I have in my head but it starts with me believing that it's possible and going for it.  Due to my upbringing, living the life I love is not as straightforward as it would seem.

There are two key questions that I have to answer to achieve this ultimate goal:

1.  What do I love?  As a child, I wasn't really encouraged to look at what I enjoyed doing but was pushed towards enjoying whatever needed to be done.  For example, it wasn't about whether I loved Science and wanted to pursue it as a career, it was more about a Science degree is a good idea so do it and learn to love it.  So choosing to live the life I love means that I have to firstly discover what I love.  I'm realising that this means that I'm going to have to spend some time trying out things and seeing if I love it or not!  This is part of the motivation behind my new business venture which I have talked about in my other blog.  I'm going to try it and see how it goes!

2.  How do I live it?  This is the standard question we all ask when choosing to live the life we love.  We need to work out how to get to the picture we see in our heads and start to plan.  It might take years to get there but it starts with having a plan and taking the first step.

So I encourage you all to live the life you love!  The picture that God is building for me is exciting and challenging but I know that it's going to be worth it and that I can trust Him - look at what He's done so far in my life! :-)

Until next time,
Cece
xxx

The Homecoming

So finally the update has arrived. Babygirl moved in on Monday and has been living with us for almost a week now! In my last post I had just come to the end of day 4 of the introductions. Day 5 was much better - we left our home at 630am to drive to collect Babygirl who came back to our house to spend the day. During the day, Babygirl's SW visited to see how she was settling in and then we went to a review meeting in the afternoon. In that meeting it was agreed that we would continue as planned with Babygirl moving in on Monday. Days 6 & 7 were lovely but emotional. On day 6 we collected Babygirl again and she spent the day with us in London. We drove back out of London to return Babygirl home and then stayed overnight. It was becoming apparent that the FC was becoming increasingly distressed at the prospect of giving up Babygirl. Day 7 we visited briefly in the morning to see Babygirl and drop off some bags for her belongings. We spent the day in the shopping centre buying the final pieces and getting a picture of Babygirl framed for the FC along with a thank you card.

Monday morning I woke up nervous and anxious. My nerves were not about becoming a mum so much, but more about taking away Babygirl from her "home" and the FC. We arrived a few minutes early and drove around the block to kill time. 930am on the dot we rang the doorbell and waited. The FC opened the door and started to hand us Babygirl's bags while she put on Babygirl's coat. It was very emotional - FC got to the point where she couldn't stay in the room and had to leave. We could hear her crying in the next room. By this point, DH was also in tears! I had told FC that we would make it as easy as possible for her so we left quickly. The start of the journey was a quiet one as DH and I silently reflected on what had taken place. Soon, Babygirl's babbles and shouts for attention broke the mood and we were soon focussing on being attentive parents to our new baby girl.

This experience has caused us to appreciate the role of FCs even more! We all say that we admire FCs and their willingness to open up their homes for little ones, like Babygirl, but we forget that they have also opened themselves to falling love with these adorable bundles of joy and then watching them leave over and over again! It is not an easy role at all but such an important one!

As I write this Babygirl is having a nap, we are so delighted to having her home and are enjoying adjusting to the new role of being parents. Many people have said that being a parent changes your life forever - and it's so true. I'm already seeing so many changes in me. Aside from the physical demands of always being available for this little powerhouse of energy, I am astounded at how being a mum has caused me to look at how I live life! It's too much to explain in this post and really belongs on my other blog, so I won't go into detail here.

Anyway, I am so grateful that God has seen us through this process and I am completely blown away by the fact that as I have reached what I thought was the final destination - I've realised that it is only the beginning!

Until next time,
Cece

The Ups and Downs of Introductions

Hello!  Hope you are all well.  We are currently midway through the introductions process and I had hoped to write a post each day but there has been a lack of internet access which has made it quite difficult so I'll have to do a quick update about the last few days.

Before I start to talk about what we have been up to this week, I must first tell you about the amazing adoption shower that my family and friends organised for me over the weekend.  It was such a beautiful event and I was really touched by the love that I was shown, and the wonderful presents received!  The most touching part of the whole evening was an idea one of my friends had come up with.  Each lady was given a piece of material and fabric pens.  They were given an opportunity to write a message to DH, me and/or Babygirl.  I was so moved by the messages and look forward to when the pieces are stitched together to make a blanket.  Such a beautiful idea!!! OK - so I've finishing gushing!  It was a beautiful evening and it left me feeling very reflective.  After everyone had gone, I found myself reflecting on the night and the next step ahead.  The adoption shower became extremely symbolic for me and gave me the sense of being sent off into the land of motherhood.

So I was extremely excited on Monday when I woke up ready to face the first day of introductions.  It started with a 2 hour meeting with our SW, Babygirl's SW and the FC in which the terms of placement were agreed and the introductions plan outlined.  It was clear that it was going to be an exciting but also tiring week.  There will be a lot of travelling on our part as well as some overnight stays in a hotel.  Once the meeting had been concluded, DH, myself and the FC set off for FC's home where Babygirl would be waiting.  The drive took about 1 and a half hours and we arrived as Babygirl woke up from her afternoon nap.  She was brought down and for the first time we set eyes on our baby in the flesh - it was a special moment.  She was handed to me immediately and she inspected me closely - you could almost hear her thinking, "Who are you?"  She settled into DH's arms for a short milk feed but did cry everytime she heard FC's voice.  We stayed for about an hour and then headed off to check in at the hotel.  That night, our SW called to see how it went.  We told her that it had all gone smoothly.  I wasn't sure how I was supposed to feel - she didn't feel like she was my child but I knew that it was early days.

Day 2 - we arrived late morning in time to take Babygirl out of her cot after her nap.  We played in her room and the FC was really supportive by making sure that she was absent so that Babygirl depended on us for her needs.  We also had the joy of taking Babygirl to the clinic to be weighed - it was lovely to amongst other parents and fitting in!

Day 3 - we arrived earlier this day and took Babygirl out for lunch.  On this day, we got our first smile and a couple of giggles from Babygirl.  We got to try out our pushchair and I thoroughly enjoyed browsing the shops with my new family! :-) 

Day 4 (today) - we drove back home with the FC and Babygirl following to join us for lunch.  Today was not such a good day - Babygirl was obviously confused and overwhelmed by the presence of the FC and her new parents.  All she wanted was to be in the arms of her FC.  It was tough for us all - Babygirl wanted FC and was not happy unless she was in her arms,  the FC was distressed because she felt that she should leave Babygirl with us to encourage attachment to us, and we were distressed because Babygirl who had loved being with us for the last few days was now screaming continually everytime we held her.  It has left us a little sad today but we know that tomorrow is another day.  Today we were reminded that as happy as we are to start building our family with Babygirl, it is a devastating time for her as she is being taken from all she knows.

Pray for all of us - DH and I, Babygirl and the FC.

Until next time,
Cece
xxx

Blue Monday?

Today is 21 January which according to British psychologists is the most depressing day of the year.  They say that it is a combination of being paid early for Christmas (so funds are now low), credit card bills from the Christmas season have started to arrive and it is the third week back to work after the Christmas/New Year festivities!  The fact that is has been snowing over the last few days has made it a mixed bag this year.  Some people have been at home enjoying a "snow day" while others have had to trudge through the cold fluffy white stuff to face cancelled and delayed trains!

While the rest of the country have been walking around in varying degrees of gloominess, I have been bouncing around on my own personal dose of happiness!

Last week, DH and I went to matching panel.  This is when we ask the panel to approve us to be the adoptive parents to LO.  We arrived early - clutching our introductions book.  The introductions book is a book that is collated by the potential adoptive parents which will introduce the child to their new home and family if the panel agree that the adopters are a suitable match.  It usually includes pictures of the parents and different parts of the house including the child's room.  So in preparation for panel, we had to make sure that her room was prepared.

 

It has been really lovely setting it up - DH and I had a wonderful time getting it ready and it gave us something to focus on as we waited for the panel date to finally arrive!

We were called up to panel and settled into our seats.  It was a really fast process - we were out of the room in about 5 minutes and even the SW mentioned that it was the shortest panel she had ever attended!  Three minutes later, they came out to tell us that it was a YES!  The rest of the speech was a blur to be honest - but the main point is that DH and I are going to be parents!!!!!!

Today was my first day on adoption leave!  We will meet "Babygirl" next Monday and we should be able to bring her home the following Monday.  Now, DH and I are busy making the final touches to our home - stair gates will have to go up, cot sheets washed, car seats fitted etc.

We are overjoyed and so grateful to God.  He has taken us through what has been a gruelling process at times.  Please keep us in your prayers as we prepare to enter this new season in our lives!

On a separate note, I have also started a new blog and it would be great if you could have a look at it.  I'll be posting on that blog more throughout this year and it will be covering a wide range of issues.

This blog has been really helpful in helping me to work through what has been a really tough journey.  I am aware that my journey is continuing as I know that there are more children to come, and I still have the challenges of motherhood to encounter!  I will still be writing here and the next few posts will have a particular focus on the final stages of adoption so you are welcome to keep reading here!

This blog has also reignited my passion for writing so my new blog is a forum to allow me to write about other things - take a look!

Untill next time,
Cece

2013 is here!

Happy New Year!  May this year bring new and wonderful things to you all, but more importantly may it be a year that brings you even closer to Jesus!

As expected, I am REALLY excited about 2013!  Of course, the fast approaching placement of our little one is on my mind, but I am also aware that spending time away from work will be an interesting season in my life.  I am so excited about what God has in store for me in this year and I feel confident that He will be speaking to me throughout the year.  In fact, I know that He is always speaking to me but I am determined to make sure that I am listening this year!

The final preparations are now in full swing and each day, I become more and more aware that this is really happening! We have a long list of things to do and meetings to attend between now and the last week of January when we finally start introductions.

Many people have asked if we have met our little one and the answer is no - we will not get to meet until after panel during the introductions process.  Some people have asked what will happen if we don't like the child or are not comfortable with them - we know this can happen.  There have been cases where the adoption has broken down at the introductions stage and beyond.  This has been devastating for all parties involved, however, DH and I are aiming to approach this process with a particular mindest.  We know that it could all fall apart, as anything is possible, however, if we were physically pregnant, we would not be debating whether or not we would be keeping the child if their personality didn't match with ours!  In fact, if such a conversation was overheard, people would be horrified!  Why should our behaviour be any different with an adopted child?  Yes, we know that an adopted child may come with some additional issues but some of these issues could also develop in children we gave birth to naturally.  We seek to be as committed to this child as a couple giving birth to their natural child would be.

This week, we drove out of London to meet our little one's foster carer. As we sat in a coffee house waiting for this lady who we didn't know to arrive, we discussed what we wanted to know about our little one.  It's a strange concept that we were preparing a list of things we wanted to know about our child.  As the meeting time approached, I started to feel increasingly nervous about meeting the foster carer - would she like me?  What if she doesn't think we're good enough?  As we waited, the importance of our relationship with the foster carer became more apparent to me.  Introductions would be starting in her house.  We would be following the routine she had established for this child and at the moment, as far as our little one is concerned, this person is "mummy"!

The adoption process does cause you to be in some remarkable situations.  "I'm waiting to meet someone who is going to tell me what my child is like because I have no idea about their personality, likes or dislikes!"  What an odd statement!  When she arrived, we sat and talked for about half an hour.  We heard about our little one's routine, their preferences, how they communicate etc.  It was lovely to hear from someone who actually knows them - it made the report that we had read and the picture we had seen come to life!

As we headed back to London, the reality hit home!  The room has already been prepared and key purchases have already been made.  Yet, in spite of all of the baby related items that now fill our home, it wasn't until we sat down and talked about our little one that it finally started to sink in that I am going to be a mummy!

Next week, we will be meeting the doctor to discuss the medical background of our child and then the following week, we will be attending matching panel when it will all hopefully be finalised!


In the summer, I posted a blog about jumping hurdles and it's amazing that we are almost at the last hurdle!  God has been so faithful and I am confident that He has brought us this far and will continue to be with us as we keep running!

Have a blessed 2013!
Cece
xxx